Is anyone surprised Tituss Burgess cleans to a Pointer Sisters soundtrack?


“Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” star Tituss Burgess has the whole work-life-balance thing down. Ever since the Athens, Ga., native came to New York more than a decade ago, he’s worked steadily, onstage and off. You’ll next see him as a psychic in the comedy “I Hate Kids,” out Jan. 18. But once Saturday hits, he turns it all off, he says. The 39-year-old Harlem resident tells LAUREN STEUSSY just how he spends his weekends.

Saturday morning, I let the dogs, Hans and Micah, out in the backyard and we stare at each other for an hour. While they’re running around, I’m having my coffee, maybe with Baileys, just to sorta kick it off.

Then it’s time to make some breakfast. I love to order from Kitchenette up in Harlem. I get their pear-strawberry pancakes. You have never lived until you’ve had these things, honey. And my pancakes have to be drowning in syrup. Why on Earth does any restaurant think that those little takeout containers of syrup are enough? Once I’m done being angry at that, I’ll probably run to the bodega to get more maple syrup. On the way is my favorite 99 cent store. I spend hours in 99 cent stores, because there are so many possibilities. You’ve got your plastic cups you might need for parties, you’ve got your paper plates — I have a lot of greedy-a[ss] friends who come over, so I have to be prepared to feed them. And I just can smell when they’re about to drop over. I can feel it in the air. The clouds get dark, lightning starts to happen.

Then it’s nap time. My naps are my most prized “me” time. I could rival the dead with how unaware of Earth [I am] when I am asleep.

Once I wake up, a good three hours later, I’ll start to chip away at all my deadlines. I love to work at home. But I can’t just sit down and work. That requires a glass of wine. I’ll call my assistant, Jared, who is already doing 19 million things, and tell him to drop everything and get me my Sancerre.

Of course, I can’t work in a dirty house. So I’ll put on the Pointer Sisters’ “I’m So Excited” and get the house in order. But now I’m hungry, so I invite my friends over for dinner. By the time I look at the clock again, it’s midnight, the house is in disarray, [and] I haven’t [done] any of the work I needed to do. So the rest of my weekend is spent finishing my workload.

Sunday evenings, my boyfriend and I like to go to dinner down in the Village, at Rosemary’s. I like to get the steak for two . . . maybe some orecchiette. It is way more food than two people need, but whatever, we’re celebrating. It’s the weekend!